Diary of a Heretic

“AWAKEN CHAOS. AWAKEN TIAMAT. mu-al-li-da-at mu-um-mu, ti-amat rise”

The last few weeks have definitely been quite chaotic, which is why this issue of Axis Mundi is a few days late. It started off with my husband being rushed to hospital and spending a week in intensive care.  I then had a minor car accident and things have been skewwhiff from that point on.

Chaos theory attempts to explain the fact that complex and unpredictable results can and will occur in systems that are sensitive to their initial conditions. This is known as the Butterfly Effect. It states that, in theory, the flutter of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world could, in fact, actually affect weather patterns in the opposite part of the world. In other words, it is possible that a very small occurrence can produce unpredictable and sometimes extreme results by triggering a series of increasingly significant events.

SOL’s last full moon circle was definitely a reverberation of the chaos reigning down upon and around us. This was the night of the 11:11:11 Gateway, a supposed collective, high-vibrational portal opening to assist the evolution of consciousness. Anyway with so many people meditating on this day, it was an excellent opportunity to ride the wave of such highly focussed energy.

One of the interesting happenings on that night occurred during the invocation of Tiamat, which was a translated Enochian invocation. I had left the last sentence in Enochian and as I was invoking Tiamat I felt her presence rush in with great force and pronouncing the last sentence with great fluency and power, leaving me shaken for a good period of the ritual and thus emphasising her creative energies of the Chaos Dragon and  the primordial goddess of the ocean.

No doubt this period of chaos will redefine our way of living and thinking over the next few months. The summer solstice will arrive before we know it and will no doubt bring with it an opportunity for us to stop and take stock and to assimilate all that has been rapidly developing over the past twelve months.

“Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!”

Yes indeed it was time for the annual Witches BalI. This year the Pagan Awareness Network hosted their annual ball at the Gaelic Hotel, Surry Hills.

The line-up for the night was Australia’s most loved folk rock band, Spiral Dance and the delightful Ms Penny Tickle who made her grand return to the stage.

This year the evening kicked off with its very own fashion parade, featuring the magical and mystical designs from Kylie Allerton’s  label “Morrigon clothing for the dark muse”.

It is always a big decision on what to wear for this grand event and this year the outfits were absolutely amazing. Such imagination and originality!  With so many incredible costumes to choose from, judging the best costume was very difficult but the winner this year went to the Green Man, who looked absolutely spectacular with his forest foliage.

It was definitely a night of fun, laughter and dance and I look forward to next year’s  exciting event.

See the October 2011 Axis Mundi for photographs.

The year is again getting away from me and here it  is September already and only three more months  to go to the end of the year.

The good news is that Axis Mundi now has an International Standard Serial Number, which means all issues will be archived in the National Library of Australia.  The National Library of Australia aims to build a comprehensive collection of Australian publications to ensure that Australians have access to their documentary heritage now and in the future.

The other good news is that Spring has finally made an appearance and it is now time to shake off the cold dark shackles of winter and step powerfully into the waking energy of this new season. So the big question is what are you really yearning for? What creative energy is developing and waiting to express itself through you?

The energy of spring is our call to wake up and stretch and move our bodies, ignite our creativity, and allow life to move through us.

So if you haven’t noticed, the winds of change have arrived and so we should heed the call of spring and go with this creative life force energy. Ride the energy of the element of Air and let your life force flourish. When you attune your personal energy to  the  changing  season,  you  allow life’s grace and ease to  surround  you  and  surprise you.

“The winds of change are always blowing
And every time I try to stay
The winds of change continue blowing
And they just carry me away.”
Willie Nelson

I am totally over winter now and can’t wait for the warmer weather. Spring is one of my favourite seasons of the year and my thoughts are turning to clearing out all my accumulated garbage on a mental, emotional and physical basis. I have been a bit slack with my fitness regime of late so that is one area that I will be injecting some rejuvenated energy in over the next few months.

Getting past procrastination is always the hardest part, and knowing what to cut away from one’s life is always a difficult decision.  It is getting on to six months since I left my day job and it has taken me that time to adjust to a new way of living. But now it is time for me to make space for growth and to allow space to breathe and be, to experience new joy and energy levels.

At SOL’s recent Imbolc ritual I had a profound meditation with the Goddess Brigid? she inspired me to get on with my vision and not to be side-tracked. Everyone made Moon Cards during the ritual which encapsulated all our hopes and desires for the coming months.

Bringing about change in our life can be a difficult process even if we know deep within us that it will eventually liberate us, utilising the essence of spring will connect us to the spirit of renewal, growth, expansion, and all that is creative. It is a time for the warrior within to emerge and it is a good time of year to cultivate this energy by strengthening our daily disciplines, overcoming blockages and creating new goals and creative projects, transforming dietary habits, and cleansing our bodies, and our homes. It is a time of hope, possibility, and inspiration. It is a time to stretch oneself as the new sapling that allows itself to bend in the wind.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.”

I don’t know how everyone weathered the last three eclipses but I am feeling somewhat shell shocked.  The eclipses brought about six weeks of intensity and I am amazed at the amount of toxic muck that has risen to the surface. The whole month has played out like a dark surreal scene in Alice in Wonderland.

Eclipses especially lunar eclipses have a tendency to work on the emotions, the inner and hidden aspects of our psyche, so I am not surprised that the energies of the past few weeks have caused so much disharmony amongst so many people. In fact the July 1st eclipse brought with it a plethora of angry planets that were unable to cooperate with each other. No wonder the communications on Facebook of late were so heated at times.  There were definitely some very domineering people out there espousing very strong viewpoints and who were coercing people with excommunication if they didn’t agree with their terms and conditions.

I actually was one of many people that had been excommunicated from someone’s page for opposing a particular viewpoint. Well actually I wasn’t opposing I was just referring to a discrepancy in an argument. Evidently it was enough to be permanently extricated from the friends list. Actually it was more than being just unfriended, I was blocked, which prevented me from seeing their comments on anyone else?s wall.  Well it cuts both ways, but I guess what I have to say doesn’t rate that high on the Richter scale anyway.

Did you know that Facebook is a cause of stress with so many people? This stress includes the fear of missing important social information, fear of offending contacts, discomfort or guilt from rejecting user requests. In fact how many people have felt offended by somebody deleting them as an unwanted contact? Facebook has certainly become a social dilemma especially with so much cyber bullying and predator behaviour going around. Many people who started using Facebook for positive purposes have now found that the website has negatively impacted their actual life which is rather sad.

I have personally made so many wonderful friends on Facebook, it has opened up another dimension to communicate and network with people from all around the world.  Unfortunately today’s communities are often cyber communities where our main chats are via posts on the internet.  We don’t seem to have much time for actual face to face communication. It all becomes so impersonal, where people feel they can say hurtful things because they are not speaking directly face to face.

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we
perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with
others.”  ~ Anthony Robbins

Welcome to the New Look Axis Mundi ~ The Free eMagazine of Spheres Of Light

This is our first major change since Axis Mundi’s inception in 2008 and I would like  to take this opportunity to give a big thank you to Jenny Taylor for all her dedication and hard work in helping set up Axis Mundi and all the time involved in coding and formatting the eMagazine over the past three years.

It is now an opportune moment to look back at our humble beginnings to see how far we have come.  The concept of Axis Mundi in the context of our magazine was envisioned as a central point where all ideologies and spiritual ideas converge. Axis Mundi’s objective is to be a repository of shared knowledge that is in a constant state of evolution. So for Axis Mundi to meet its objective it needs people to contribute articles, ideas, experiences and opinions etc.

Each issue contains articles and information that correspond to a seasonal theme and highlight the rhythms and cycles of the natural world and our lives. Each season colours our world with new insights and brings us to a deeper understanding of life.  It is through your  insights  and active participation that this online magazine will grow and develop into a publication that will empower  us on our journey through the realms of all possibilities personal, emotional, spiritual, and magical.

At Sunday’s Meditation in the Park, there was this uncanny stillness. Quietness had permeated our little room in the forest and the trees stood motionless around us like silent sentinels, echoing the voice of winter. Even though these trees appeared to be in a state of stillness, in the darkness of the earth, their roots have extended far beneath the earth’s crust, winding their way to that dark fertile place, where life is constantly regenerating.

This season of increasing cold and darkness is an excellent time to retreat and reflect upon the self. This is a time to take a long look at yourself; to go all the way inside your skin, inside your mind, inside your heart, inside your emotions, burrowing deep within the dark crevices of your soul to find that fertile place.

If you are authentic with yourself and dive deep into the core of your unconscious mind, you may find this process challenging. But by taking this plunge into the unknown you may discover who you really are at the core of your being.

Although most people fear the unknown, there’s no real fear in this darkness. Soul reflection is demanding, and cannot be achieved at a surface level. Such is the work of the soul. Just as the heart has its own reasons, the soul has its own agenda and as we peel back the layers, new fears are unearthed and we are able to release more so we can evolve, heal and become whole.

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. ~ Carl Jung

Janine Donnellan

Well it has been three weeks now since I left work and I have been taking the time to relax and recover before I get stuck into my creative projects. As indicated by the tarot card that I selected for this month’s reading, this is not a time for action, but a time to drift, to dream, to vision and to remember. This period of recuperation has been a time for me to meditate and welcome the inner stillness, so I that I can feed my spirit. Samhain now heralds the coming of the darkness and I welcome this opportunity for a new start as I incubate and strengthen my hopes for this change of life.

Interestingly, the coming of the darkness coincides with Neptune’s transit in Pisces. The Lord of the Sea can now take us deeper into our imagination. How many times this month have you experienced your dream state in such detail or found yourself lost in a wonderful dream-like state while listening to a piece of music or watching a film that you love? Our dream states can be portals through which we find meaning and colour in our life.

Neptune can be a bridge into the mysterious and we can use this opportunity during Samhain when the veil between the worlds is thin, to access the other worlds and tap into the collective unconsciousness.

And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy grey eye glances,
And where thy footstep gleams–
In what ethereal dances,
By what eternal streams.
EDGAR ALLAN POE, To One in Paradise

Janine Donnellan

March has been one of those crazy months and I have been involved in finalising projects and training a new HR Manager to take over my position. Just dealing with the last days in the corporate world has taken its toll physically, mentally and emotionally. Anyway the consequence of this transition has resulted in the Axis Mundi going out later than usual, for which I apologise.

So now that we have reached the Autumn Equinox this celebration reminds us about the importance of bringing balance into our lives. It is also important at this time to remember that the only constant in life is change. Life can and does present us with a variety of tragedy, mediocrity and fleeting moments of joy. Our thoughts of course at this particular time go out to those victims of the recent disasters and we should be encouraged to send out healing and assistance to them at this time of need. We all long for some way to make sense of disasters like what’s now happening in Japan, especially with the added problem of the nuclear reactors, and there is a feeling of urgency to say something — anything! — that might help. It’s very difficult to know how to begin. None of us can claim to have previously experienced anything quite like what our planet is going through.

While we have no control over the planetary and universal shifts, we should ensure that we live each day as it comes and learn to appreciate the bountiful harvest of wisdom, love and friendship.

You’re alive. Do something. The directive in life, the moral imperative is so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounds like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act. ~ Barbara Hall

Janine Donnellan

I have never been the type to be concerned about my age, although at times I think it is quite incredulous that I managed to get to this age in my life so quickly; time certainly flies when you are having fun.

Personally I have never thought of age as being a barrier to anything that I wanted to do. My father had instilled in me from an early age that I have the ability do anything that I put my mind to. This wonderful advice has stayed with me all my life and has been the impetus for me breaking through several glass ceilings placed before me throughout my working life.

Unfortunately we live in a youth oriented society where looking young has become a multi-billion-dollar industry. The sad aspect of this attitude about looks and age has the unfortunate power of curtailing an individual’s ultimate potential and talents at a relatively early age and thus depriving us of new skills and creative developments in many mediums such as art, writing, photography, music and technical innovation. Interestingly, this type of ageism is not only directed at today’s baby boomers which I am one of, but also at the old of tomorrow – the X & Y generations – a kind of pre-emptive negative stereotyping.

As a growing community we should recognize the perspective which is actually an ancient and indigenous perspective on aging – that with old age come many positives, especially the lived experiences and perspectives that are referred to as ‘wisdom’. There is a perception that the concept of respecting our elders appears to be disappearing, particularly with the younger generations.

Recently there had been some discussions on Facebook about the devaluing and disappearance of our pagan elders in our community and I thought that Axis Mundi would be an ideal forum to raise this important topic and to gauge other pagans’ viewpoints.

Perhaps the word disappearance is incorrect; perhaps our elders have merely become invisible by choice, having felt neglected or grown weary of the attitudes of the current pagan community and have simply left, retreated to their own private circles or have become solitaries.

I have to admit that occasionally I have felt like I have become ‘invisible’ to the community. I’m not sure if is from an age related invisibility or from ‘the not being accepted’ perspective, which could partly be related to some ageist attitudes, and partly related to my eclectic beliefs. There is a possibility that I could be leading myself down the garden path through my own somewhat distorted perceptions. But through talking to and hearing what other pagans have to say there is something amiss here and only through honest discussion can we bring our thoughts, desires and fears out into the open and bring about some positive resolutions.

I would like to state there is also an onus on our Elders not to recede into the background but to stand in their power and help break through the attitudes that are currently facing them and start sharing their experience and knowledge. It is after all a two way relationship.

In this issue of Axis Mundi we have included some articles and viewpoints relating to our older and wiser pagans and we would love to have some input from our readers. Let us know your views on whether you agree or disagree that our pagan elders are becoming the ‘Invisible Generation’ and some suggestions on what we can do the change the situation.

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. ~ Samuel Ullman