Diary of a Heretic

How often do you feel blocked or stuck in a rut and unable to manifest your innate creativity? Of course you tell yourself that it’s not that important or you let other mundane things take priority. Over time you lose touch with this natural creative source and you wonder why you feel so unfulfilled and frustrated.

There have been some creative ideas of mine that have been on the backburner for some time now. Each year I start off with great expectations that I will get around to starting them but I never do. Perhaps it is a fear of failure, or a fear of jumping into the realm of the unknown or possibly the fear of success. But whatever the fear represents, it has been holding me back from reaching my true creative potential.

At SOL’s first circle for the year we drew upon the great energy of the Leo full moon to help us utilize our untapped creative power with greater control and discipline. The energy of this circle seems to have jump started my plans and over the past couple of weeks I have been taken out of my comfort zone and made to re-evaluate where I am heading. You know Spirit has this unique habit of waiting to see what you are going to do and then if nothing happens Spirit will create a situation that will bring things to a head.

The upshot is that I am going to make some drastic changes to my life; I am going to rid myself of some self imposed encumbrances; I have a plan in place and I am going to trust the Universe that my dreams will be realized.

The ideal is to live my dreams now before it’s too late. This is the year I am going to follow my bliss, and I know it is not going to be easy and I will hit some walls on the way but I if I don’t do it now then I will probably live the rest of my life with regrets.

“Sometimes you’ve got to let everything go – purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you’ll find that when you’re free, your true creativity, your true self comes out.” ~ Tina Turner

Original digital artwork, “Earth Spirit”,  by Janine Donnellan
(Click on the image for a larger view)

In this meditation (which was a part of the “13 Megaliths” ritual conducted by SOL on April 10, 2009) I find myself surrounded by a fog bank and as I move through it Stonehenge appears. Merlin is standing there to greet me and he directs me into the stone circle. I notice that Lilith is crouching on top of one of the megaliths in her serpent aspect. She jumps down and walks alongside Merlin and me, into the centre of the circle.

Original digital artwork, “Lilith the Serpent”, by Janine Donnellan

Within the circle the priestesses of Avalon are assembled for a ritual around a large stone altar which has a spiral design engraved into it. Immediately Lilith jumps upon the altar and proceeds to dance provocatively. The priestesses begin to sing and the High Priestess Vivienne enters the circle carrying a large athame with a mother of pearl handle which has a large hole in its centre. Vivienne raises the athame into the air and positions it in such a way that the hole captures the profile of the full moon. The moon’s rays penetrate the hole and radiates the area of the altar. Vivienne then takes the athame and cuts her right hand and then places her hand over the altar so that the blood drips directly onto the altar. Each priestess in turn cuts her hand and gives blood to the altar.

As each person sacrifices some of their life force to the altar, the blood merges and starts to move around the spiral into the centre of the altar where a small sink hole delivers the blood to the earth. The blood then penetrates the ley lines directly under the Stonehenge which in turn feeds, nourishes and gives healing to mother Earth.

Lilith takes the athame and cuts her hand and then takes my hand and cuts my hand and she presses our hands together. She looks directly at me and says that its part of a shift and that our energies are being merged. Each priestess within the circle presses their hands together allowing the energy to flow from one to another. At that point the meditation ends and I find myself back in the hall.

Mother of Pearl

Mother of Pearl signifies faith, innocence, enhances personal integrity, and helps to provide focus to ones attention. The pearl has been known as a “stone of sincerity”, bringing truth to situations and loyalty to a “cause”. It has been used to inhibit boisterous behaviour, and to provide a reflection of the self such that one may see the manner in which one appears to others. This stone is good for protection.

Mother of Pearl info from http://www.e-jewel.co.il/en/Site_Page_number.aspx?PageID=232

More information regarding the 13 Megaliths Ritual (which included “The Henge” meditation) and past SOL Full Moon Circles can be found in our Book Of Shadows. Please contact us for further details if you would like to attend our Full Moon Circles.