Diary of a Heretic

Sometimes I feel that I am invisible, not in the physical sense but in the sense that I believe I don’t get any recognition for anything that I do.  Ok I know it is an ego thing and perhaps I don’t do anything worthy of recognition but still it is one of my frustration points.

Recently I discovered that Chiron sits in Capricorn in my natal chart, after reading through the interpretation, the reason for me feeling like I am invisible became apparent. Basically the interpretation highlighted that I bear the pain of not being recognised or understood.  Evidently at the heart of Capricorn there is a driving ambition, a need for status, respect and reward, and when Chiron is in Capricorn, you can get so caught up in achieving higher and higher goals that you never slow down to enjoy and assess what you have accomplished. Actually, it pretty much sums up my situation, working continually to burn out point, never really being satisfied with what I achieve.

At this juncture I started delving into the dark recesses of my soul, looking at what lies beneath the layers of discarded emotions and memories. Moving through painful recollections of childhood frustrations of rejection and isolation, all because of my idiosyncratic behaviour. A childhood that was spent in a Neptunian fantasy world, expressing myself through my creative and psychic talents and always struggling to be accepted and recognised by my peers and family. In actuality my childhood frustrations and explorations were in fact the grounding for my current path of shamanic witchcraft.

As I move now energetically and spiritually into the colder months, I am reminded that winter is a time of turning inward; a time to assess and let go of what no longer serves me, a time to release what holds me back, and it is also a time of preparing for transformation.

As we progress through the dark aspects of this coming season, may we all acknowledge the voices from our shadow that lies hidden in our emotions and our soul. May we contract into our depths and expand into the purity of our beings; may we apply the alchemy of transformation by honouring our essential self and appreciating  what truly is uniquely special and sacred in our lives and in our hearts.

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.” Carl Jung

Reference: www.astrology.com/allaboutyou/healingsign/capricorn.html