Diary of a Heretic

“In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

2008 has definitely been a challenging year for most people and no doubt a year that will redefine our way of living and thinking over the next few years. The summer solstice has now arrived bringing with it an opportunity for us to stop and take stock and to assimilate all that has been rapidly developing over the past twelve months.

If we take a look at the numerological aspects of 2008 we see that this year added up to a number 1-year, which is a number that gives rise to new, unexpected and extraordinarily challenging life conditions. As 2009 looms closer, we are no doubt wondering what further changes and challenges we will have to face over the next 12 months. The numerology for 2009 adds up to 11, which is a master number. This number symbolizes a critical point in our journey where major decisions will be required that will prove challenging for all of humanity and will bring about an adjustment or a state of balance to our lives.

I consulted the tarot to gain further clarification of this situation and I have drawn 2 tarot major arcana cards from the Glastonbury deck. The first card drawn relates to 2008, it is the Death card.

The Death card signifies an ending that leads to a new beginning. The Death card moves us on into action; it encourages us to push for change, to put behind us all of the factors that held us back and to sever connections that are no longer helpful to us and do not support us. In order to do this, we need to recognize any fears of change that can hinder us from moving into a new beginning. Life is in constant motion and this is the irony of the Death card. Death is never the end – it is simply a motion in a different direction.

The other card drawn represents the energy for 2009 and it is the Wheel of Fortune.

The Wheel of Fortune is about consequence, it may mean that we should consider our actions and how they are affecting ourselves and others around us. Since ancient times, the Wheel has been a symbol for mobility, revolution, and cycles. The Wheel is symbolic of the natural flow of life, and we should allow ourselves to just go with the flow.

A change is coming into our lives, and no one knows whether it will be a change for the better. Even if it does not seem to be what we want, this change will move us in a new, and perhaps surprising, direction. I believe we have now entered one of the most important periods in human history.We have the opportunity to lift ourselves to new levels of consciousness, spirituality and responsibility – lets not squander this opportunity to make a difference to our lives and our precious planet.

I would like to take this opportunity on behalf of Spheres of Light to wish you all peace, joy and harmony for the New Year and have a safe and happy holiday season.

Janine
December 19, 2008

The energy of Beltane was very vibrant and alive this year. Love was definitely in the air, and during our Beltane ritual we celebrated the union between the Great Mother and her young Horned God; their coupling representing the bringing of fresh new life on earth. No doubt some form of this Great Rite was enacted on this sabbat in nearly every pagan circle in the Southern Hemisphere.

What made this Beltane particularly special for me was the wedding of my daughter last Friday. It was the pinnacle of a year of planning, it was a perfect day and she looked absolutely stunning. I must thank the dragons for ensuring a lovely warm bright sunny day for the ceremony and the most spectacular display of lightning during the reception, no human fireworks could ever compete with Mother Nature.

Beltane is a good time to build on the changes that we have made in recent months, as it is the most potent and fertile part of the year’s cycle. Nature is now coming into full bloom and this is the time for us to fully realize our dreams. Make love, hug a tree, bloom like a flower, share your magical human energy with others and celebrate the fertility and potency of life.

The Taurus Full Moon coupled with the fertility of Beltane is the perfect time to celebrate who we are. Remember that everything is a reflection of what is happening within us and when we recognise that we are amazing beings of light we can see it reflected like the full moon’s rays all around us.

E.E. Cummings – i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Janine
November 20, 2008

On an emotional and spiritual level spring connects us to the spirit of birth, renewal, growth, expansion, and all that is creative. It is also a time for the warrior within to emerge ready to take on new challenges and to incorporate disciplinary processes to ensure that we have the focus to pursue our goals and creative projects. It is a time of hope and inspiration, and a time to take ourselves out of the comfort zone and stretch our selves as the new sapling that allows itself to bend in the spring wind.

Over the next few months we will definitely be bending with the wind as this global economic crises bites in. Interestingly the Chinese symbol of crisis can mean “opportunity” in a time of “danger”. At the dawning of this spring lets hope that we can utilise and work with this energy to bring about positive changes and new opportunities to the world we live in.

This economic catastrophe has been predicted for sometime and now it has hit the fan we have no other choice but to go with the flow. There is a purpose to this shift and I believe that there will be more major changes coming over the next few years that will challenge and expand our horizons.

What is occurring is a change of emphasis from greed to a more caring humanity based system, well that’s what I am hoping for anyway. Perhaps we will see a more balanced distribution of resources. There is no denying that we are all in for a bumpy ride and as a community we should be ready to support each other in these challenging times.

I decided to consult the tarot to help understand this situation and I have drawn 2 tarot cards from the Glastonbury deck. The first card drawn is the Chariot, and this is where we find ourselves at the moment:

The Chariot indicates positive change. You may not feel like it is at the moment but if you move your energy into a positive outlook it will become so. You are moving into a new and higher dimension in your life and you are being faced with a choice and now is the time to take charge of the opportunities that come to you.

This card also signifies the ability to look deep within yourself, and to be guided by your intuition. There is a need to tie up any loose ends in your life, so that you can move forward freely. The Chariot reminds you that although the body is governed by the mind, both of these are subject to the will and the spirit. There is a plan in place and you just need to trust what spirit has in mind.

The other card drawn represents the outcome of this current situation, the card drawn is the Maid of Chalices.

The Maid of Chalices represents the ability to give freely of yourself to the earth and to those around you. There is a kind of innocence and purity in this card, and an openness to what feels fresh and new. You can now be receptive to the ideas, energies, and feelings of others, and can rely on your intuition to know who you can or cannot trust.

This is a time of hope, where you can afford to be flexible and open-hearted. This card also signifies a new and tender beginning to a relationship with those around you and to spirit, and the ability to put your trust in another.

No doubt there are going to be important choices to be made and I believe if we focus on bringing in positive changes and on love and community we will get through this time of “opportunity” with flying colours.

“To Save The World we need new ways of thinking, creative ideas, and stepping out of the conventional. We need networking and discussion amongst all levels of society and a bringing together of people from all aspects of society including representatives of Government, Universities, Business and Industry,Medicine and the Military and especially the ordinary person to seek for innovative solutions. We need new science, new understanding of the Universe, of the nature of life and Death and the infinite potential of the Human Mind. We need to be open and have openness of dialogue.”
~ Dr Mike Ellis – The New Paradigm – International Journal of Economic Humanism, Medicine & Conscious Evolution http://www.newparadigmjournal.com

Janine
October 10, 2008

Reference:
THE GLASTONBURY TAROT – Lisa Tenzin-Dolma is an author and illustrator http://www.isleofavalon.co.uk/tarot

Well after a colder than normal winter, spring has finally made its grand entrance with a spectacular warm day last Saturday followed by a fresh cleansing downpour of rain and then gusts of wind to blow away any leftover residual energy and to bring in the new energy of the season.

This is the time of year when our thoughts turn to ‘spring cleaning’. The most common usage of spring cleaning refers to the annual act of cleaning a house from top to bottom, however it has also come to be synonymous with any kind of heavy duty cleaning or organising enterprise on a personal, national and sometimes a planetary basis. In fact have you noticed that there seems to be a massive spring cleaning going on all over the world at the moment, particularly with the aftermath of Ike symbolically bringing with it the winds of change? No doubt we will all experience the ripple effect with the crash of so many investment banks and the faltering US economy.

Change is the current catchphrase of so many politicians and change we will have, which after all it is the only constant in our life. There is no doubt that we are entering a period of turbulence which is all part of the natural cycle of life. The only way a system regains its balance is to let go of what is redundant; which includes life styles, monetary systems and hopefully governments. Once this takes place the system can rejuvenate itself thus allowing itself to recycle back up to a new evolutionary level of creation.

It is comforting to know that everything in this Universe has an ending point and a starting point and everything IS as it should be.

Janine
September 16, 2008

This month’s energy has been absolutely diabolical; the Leo/Aquarius solar and lunar eclipses have certainly come with a real punch this time around. Have you noticed how many friends or colleagues are going through big life changes at the moment? Careers, homes, relationships, health are all on the agenda for transformation.

I certainly have not been spared, over the past few weeks I have been constantly plagued with annoying minor health issues, pinched nerves, cartilage problems and extreme fatigue. I have been feeling totally disconnected and scattered; mentally unable to remember simple everyday things, suffering constantly from brain fog and generally feeling like I am on autopilot.

To make life even more complicated my car got written off in a minor accident just a couple of weeks ago and I had to buy a new car. This energy has certainly curtailed my activities temporarily and you have to wonder what pleasure the universe gets at creating such misery.

Perhaps this period of crises is a signal that we have come to an end of one stage of our life and the beginning of a new one. Winter is dying away, and the fire of the new sun is growing stronger; over the next few weeks we will be moving into Spring and we will be experiencing a new energy, a new hope and a reawakening of the earth.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” ~ Anne Bradstreet

Janine
August 19, 2008

When I was a child I lived in a street where everyone knew each other. Neighbours would frequently call in for a cuppa and a chat without any announcement and front doors were never locked. I can remember spectacular New Year’s Eve gatherings where every one congregated in the street to sing Auld Lang Syne and bashed pots and pans to welcome in the New Year. Everyone supported each other and there was a real sense of community spirit.

In today’s society we have all become so insular. We often don’t know the people that live in our street. Front doors are constantly locked for security reasons and our daily contact with the outside world is usually through digital images projected from a square box in the lounge room or through communications via the internet.

Today’s communities are often cyber communities where our main chats are via forums, face book, pagan space, live space, my space and in reality there is no space or time for actual face to face communication. Its all becomes so impersonal, where blogs often become a sequence of diatribes with lots of lol’s and perhaps a couple of smiley faces thrown in for good measure. Keeping in touch becomes a momentary funny poke or perhaps an occasional likeness test.

Recently I attended a Yule gathering with my circle of pagan friends where we each brought some food and drink to share. We all congregated around a log fire under the stars like our ancestors and gave thanks to the Gods for our bounty. We all engaged in real conversations about our daily lives. We laughed and joked around like all good friends do at such occasions and it made me realize how important community is to our wellbeing and how truly blessed we are that we can be apart of each others lives.

If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life; it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.   – Mitsugi Saotome

Janine
July 16, 2008

I once was a sleeper, oblivious to the cycles and the seasons of life; I had been temporarily disconnected from my own innate intuition. I did not know how to look to the earth, the moon and the stars for the sign posts. But eventually I became awakened and began to perceive and understand the patterns and threads that merge and weave and form the tapestry I call my life. I realize now that there is no such thing as coincidence; everything happens for a reason, and over time you become conscious of the emerging pathways and how your life interchanges and connects under some surreptitious plan.

Each season brings me a deeper understanding of life; it doesn’t necessarily make my life easier, in fact sometimes I believe being on this path makes my quest so much harder. I am going through a time of inner turmoil this winter; an aspect of my life is disintegrating, a necessary process to allow me more freedom. It is not so much the process that is causing my discontent but my resistance to this disintegration. This fear of the unknown, this fear of jumping into the abyss, this enveloping darkness that encompasses and fills me with such anguish. I know if I just let go and allow myself to move with the flow that the light will emerge and all will be well. This winter of my discontent will pass I know and my life will hopefully be better for it. It is just one small step at a time – there is no turning back.

The Abyss

I have journeyed to the abyss balanced on its rim
Swaying precariously as paper fanned by wind
Staring blindfolded into a void spectral and dim
Feeling as tense like walking on string

I am at the edge of a precipice looking down
The world a swirling vortex as my life spins around
Contemplating circles and the questions of time
Transient and eternal thoughts lay like lead on my mind

Visions of clinging to the dirt in the ground
Fingers anchored like tendrils as I quietly fall down
Voices whisper conundrums like echoes abound
And moves as a mist caressing with sound

Eons suspended like the hanged man with nails
Time passes by me as a breeze in the sails
My soul’s eternal quest from journeys present and old
I am now poised on the brink as the answers unfold

Janine
June 9, 2008

I have just touched down from my overseas trip to Hong Kong & Beijing and although I was only away for two weeks I feel like I have been away for months. Being a Sagittarian I am always yearning for the great adventure and in a strange way on this particular journey I could relate to Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, caught up in a whirlwind and transported to an unfamiliar world.

Although I had visited Hong Kong on a few occasions I had never been to Beijing and it became a journey of paradoxes; a journey that pushed my boundaries and made me realize how lucky I was to be born in a wonderful country like Australia. It was a journey where I felt the after effects of a major earthquake and I saw the hourly updates of the awful scenes of human death and suffering.

I have never worried about being a woman alone in a foreign country before, even when I was in Paris a few years back with my limited knowledge of French I seemed to blend in with the locals. On this journey with my pale skin and red hair shining like a beacon I became a target for every hawker and con artist walking the streets. It became so constant and uncomfortable I gave up trying to go out alone; instead I kept to the guided sight seeing tours.

I have seen some wondrous sights, the Great Wall, the Forbidden City and my favourite place, the Summer Palace. All truly magnificent sights but I had no concept of the magnitude of the population. I knew the statistics but it is not until you are there experiencing the scale of people that you understand the problems that it creates.

The pollution is horrendous and creates a grey-like mist that constantly blurs the visual impressions of this large ever expanding city. Cars move swiftly through the streets, giving no consideration to traffic lights or pedestrians, horns constantly beeping as they erratically move from lane to lane, and trying to cross a road is like playing Russian roulette.

The only solitude you get is when you are safely secured in your hotel room, where you can contemplate this cacophony of sights and sounds looking across the skyline from your window. There were so many times that I pondered over my life’s journey from this vantage point and at times I felt like a bird in a cage.

I managed to meet so many interesting people on my tours; four Australian men were on my first tour, and it was a pleasant surprise after feeling so vulnerable the day before. I smiled at the way spirit moves in mysterious ways especially after having an in-depth conversation with my guides about providing extra protection and a bit more familiarity. The kind hearted German tourists I bumped into when I became horribly lost, I was certainly amazed at the camaraderie that tourists show to one another when they are visiting a foreign land. The last tour was spent with two guys from Virginia. They were lovely gentle people and we shared a few laughs at some of the English translations.

I brought back with me hundreds of photos and souvenirs, but more than that I brought back a new appreciation of my fortunate life. I realized how much I missed my family and my friends and when I looked out over the red centre of Australia from the window in the plane I gave thanks that I was finally home. Yes indeed there is no place like home.

Janine
May 18, 2008

Have you noticed the crisp coolness in the air of late which is heralding the fast approach of winter? As I looked outside my office window today I noticed the occasional dead maple leaf being swept high into the air and then being spiraled in grand crescendos by the intermittent gusts of wind.

Each year I seem to connect deeper to the seasons; I look forward to the awakening that each season stirs within, sometimes with great jubilation and other times in trepidation. Autumn being my favourite season was tinged with sadness this year, a dear work mate passed away just before Easter; he was only 53 years old and left a wife and three young teenage daughters. How strange that he should end his days at this time, at this season and it precipitated my reflection on my own mortality, my own life which is now in the autumn years.

Members of our office gathered at his funeral to pay our last respects on the day before Good Friday. The service was conducted in a Catholic church and I noticed that the statues of Christ were covered with hessian cloth, a representation of what is hidden, waiting to be revealed, that time of unknowing that proceeds the ultimate sacrifice, that time of death and then transformation. Three robed priests officiated at this rite of passage; standing in a line they seemed some how to mirror the concept of the triple Goddess. Each priest with a part to play in the honouring of a dear departed Soul.

As I sat there on a simple wooden pew a voice within reminded me of this sacred space. This place of divinity, blessed and sanctified; this place where one can seek solace or commune with the Divine; what does it matter the religion, whether it be a Jewish synagogue, a Muslim mosque, a Buddhist or Hindu temple, a Pagan’s circle of stones in a forest grove or a Christian Church? The Divine makes no distinction.

I sat quietly detached from my emotions and observed the energies around me. I noticed the aura of the roses that lay upon the coffin; I perceived my friend’s presence lying silent within, a sense of peace encapsulating his being. While the priests prepared the sacraments for the Holy Communion a song was sung about being carried on an eagle’s wings, and as a prayer was being given by the priest I noticed a spark of light emanate up from his crown chakra to his transpersonal point; he was oblivious to the connection but my heart stirred and I was deeply affected by the presence of the Omnipresent.

It reminded me of my visit to a Hindu temple some years ago where a ceremony celebrating Shiva’s marriage brought about a rush of powerful energy that penetrated my soul and caused great discomfort to my heart chakra.

Here I was again experiencing an awakening, a validation that Spirit does indeed move in mysterious and unexpected ways. The word ‘know’ drifted into my consciousness and for a millisecond I transcended the illusion of my mortality.

Janine
April 8, 2008